lost in the crowd

now that i am on my own , i realise that i was nothing more than a puppet in the hands of that guy i was with . i had quite often told him this with tears in my eyes...mostly he never paid heed and sometimes he would say " you can do this much for a relation that will last a lifetime ".

everytime i silently nodded.
now when i have to meet someone , i get so worked up ...
everything from what i should wear , how i should tie my hair , what should i talk and what i should not ,what will the other person think is a concern .

i feel so lost and out of place ..

tomorrow i am meeting someone .. he is a friend but still i am thinking that i my hair is not shampooed , my eyebrows not done ..what will i wear ? will i reach on time ???

i am tired ...i am so damn tired ...